The battle is going on and on!!!!

Even though it has been cloudy and rainy all day, my energy level was a bit better than yesterday. I imagined that it was a circumstance from giving a great service and its energy infused inside of me. I taped the trip in NY with Arthur, edited it, put it online and emailed it to all of my vocal awareness friends. A couple of them responded with the happiness.

Awesome!! I love doing it. Actually it reminded me the wisdom from Arthur “We have to show up for the work no matter what if that is our life purpose. It is about the work, not me.”

Since I have started practice vocal awareness, my egotism seems to be out of control. Every positive and negative emotion feels so intense and strong when I am slow expanding my integrity to become who I am. This is something that is out of my ability, I have to ask Arthur.

This past week, I didn’t have much work to do physically, but I practiced the vocal awareness quite intensely which I had to assume that the practice has allowed all type of my emotion to become free. They really have wanted to show off. When the positive emotion was presenting, I felt bliss. I took the sweet silent loving breath and allowed the energy to flow, and nourish my body with it. It was an absolute an awesome feeling. But then when the negative emotion was presenting, HURR …the impulsive thinking right away took over. It flooded ton of negative thought over and over and over, my body was in such a dangerous place. However, I fought back with my silent loving breath over and over and over again. Hum!! It wasn’t an easy battle.

This is not that unusual, but sometime it gets to the point that I just don’t want to understand it anymore, and I ask myself why why why why why??

Then, I grabbed my backpack and went to practice yoga and dance (couldn’t win this battle will the metal ability). After physical exercise, my energy was back to normal, alert, enthusiastic, lot of energy, and happy Great!! I will sing songs now….