I received an email from Janis, a classmate from the vocal awareness workshop at Omega. First she shared one of her experience with her vocal awareness journey, and then she asked all of us if anyone had anything to share with our own journey.

I had an incredible experience this past weekend at Ellie's passion branding workshop. I did only 2-3 minutes speech. It was short, but it was beautiful (to me), and the bottom was my email to Janis and the less of my classmates.

I have been standing in front of the mirrors many days and practice every step of the vocal awareness, and plus I stand in front of my computer to sing songs (Thanks for Anne's suggestion)

Well, I have to say that personally I don't really know how far the practice has been improving, until this particular trip.

I went to Ellie's passion branding workshop in CA past weekend and one powerful practice that she assigned us to do was to ask for the forgiveness from our passion. When the workshop end that night, her husband, Charlie, told us that everyone who still have something unpleasant in their heart needed to release it out before they go to bed. And the only way to do it was to stand in front of the room and shared with the group.  Many people were able do this practice very easily, and they shared such a wonderful message.

For me, first I felt the strong sense of participating, then when the time went by the negative inner voice worked it way to destroy my courage. My heart pounded so hard, and the nervousness was getting very intense every time when the new person took a stage. Finally, I heard my positive inner voice said "Take your right step now", then I stood up, took my slow silent loving breath, and walked consciously to the front of the room.

This moment was a wonderful moment. I was there, focus and so center. I looked at people from the inside out, I felt my breath, and I spoke nervously and consciously words by words. I felt the energy in the room; I felt the energy in my words.

After my speech, I got so many wonderful compliments from so many people. I was surprise that I wasn't surprise why these individual shared their love and support.  I knew that I talked to them in an energy level, and I was with them. Also, I felt so grateful when Ellie and Charlie said that I gave a powerful speech, and they couldn't resist tear.  I humbly told Ellie that I am where I am today because of Arthur.  He guided and showed me the path.    She smiled and we both understand in the energy level of the respect we both have for Arthur, and how wonderful he is.

Well team, you can tell that I probably will not stop my practice anytime soon. I am also sending out my support to all of you to keep up with your practice.

Anne and I are strong in supporting each other practice, and we open everyone to be a part of our support group if you want to.

I miss all of you.

From my heart to yours, take great care of your destiny, and I will deliver our 1 year reunion soon after I hear it from Arthur.

My body was so tried this morning. I could feel the heat in my eyes and the low energy within while I was doing my chores.  My inner voice said “Don’t let the physical stop you from doing your great works. You will be able to take a nape sometime today, but not now.” With that I took a deep slow silent loving breath and continuing (at a time) practice my vocal awareness.

I spent sometime this morning reading. One of my interested subjects is living green, becoming a conscious living, and take responsibility to our mother earth (as conscious I can). I read an interesting news about the company MicroFueler is working it way to introduce the ethanol fuel to USA market. Interesting!!  In addition, I researched and read a review on one of the topic that has been stuck in my mind for so long. It’s about a type of dressing shoes that was aired on Oprah’s show some time ago that give a comfort feeling to the feet. I found it; it’s called the Nike Air Dress Collection. The point that I want to make for myself is the more I read the more I will improve my English’s vocabularies, sentence structures and tenses.

I made a commitment many years ago with myself that reading had to become my habit since I know that I have rooms to progress. It wasn’t easy at the first, but being persistence with my commitment it helps. Moreover, for that I am happy with this journey.

At about 11:30pm, I received a surprise call from my long time friend, Mandi. She is my dear love, sweet, and beautiful friend who lives in AZ. I had stayed with her about 6 months when I first moved out from my ex-husband’s house. She called me to let me know that she finally opens her palates studio with Kelly (another dear friend of mine), and she wants to invite me to visit the studio and promote it to my folks.  She doesn’t know that I have moved. When I told her, then ton of questions were shot to me, what?, when?, why?…….etc. So, I spent about 15 minutes to briefly share my journey with her.
She is happy for my journey, and I’m so happy to hear from her and to get updated about what is happening in her life. It has been her passion for many years, and it’s formed.

We also spent sometime compliment each others about our serious action on commitment and consistence. By saying that, I can feel both of us understand what it meant. These actions will take us to the higher level in life, and we will become successful. It’s absolutely an awesome surprise. My heart felt so grateful, and very happy.

Since yesterday I have been feeling that my body and my mind aren’t congruous; they didn’t get to click, and my body was extremely exhausted. My sensuality is lost (somewhere). I couldn’t feel things. For example, when I hold the cup, I didn’t feel it. It was no communication between the two (my hand and the cup).  It was such a weird feeling and it was cool to experience them (to know also that I pushed to far). At the same time, I was frustrated since I couldn’t do even simple chores properly. My body was also extremely exhausted from lack of sleep and time changing from a couple trips I had.

It made me wonder how many people are able to live their everyday life without proper sleep plus without proper nutrient, and without proper exercise. Do these people who live imbalance life know the difference between healthy and unhealthy body, mind, and spirit? Do they care? Do they want to care? Well, I can just answer for myself. I care very much, that is why when my body sent the signal to me I listen (Alright, I may push it a little bit too far, but I am listening not just ignore completely them). I took a rest after lunch, and it felt so much better

I made a commitment to myself long time ago that I will become conscious with my health, and I am going to live healthy until the day that I die. This inspiration came from reading many of other people illness stories. Then, I teach myself to eat well, sleep well, and exercise every week. Score from 1 to 10 with this journey, I give myself 9, so I am good.

Tomorrow, I will fly to NY to be a part of Arthur’s Workshop, and I can’t wait!! I miss my absolute incredible teacher very much. When I am around him, I feel like being in a heaven.

Even though it has been cloudy and rainy all day, my energy level was a bit better than yesterday. I imagined that it was a circumstance from giving a great service and its energy infused inside of me. I taped the trip in NY with Arthur, edited it, put it online and emailed it to all of my vocal awareness friends. A couple of them responded with the happiness.

Awesome!! I love doing it. Actually it reminded me the wisdom from Arthur “We have to show up for the work no matter what if that is our life purpose. It is about the work, not me.”

Since I have started practice vocal awareness, my egotism seems to be out of control. Every positive and negative emotion feels so intense and strong when I am slow expanding my integrity to become who I am. This is something that is out of my ability, I have to ask Arthur.

This past week, I didn’t have much work to do physically, but I practiced the vocal awareness quite intensely which I had to assume that the practice has allowed all type of my emotion to become free. They really have wanted to show off. When the positive emotion was presenting, I felt bliss. I took the sweet silent loving breath and allowed the energy to flow, and nourish my body with it. It was an absolute an awesome feeling. But then when the negative emotion was presenting, HURR …the impulsive thinking right away took over. It flooded ton of negative thought over and over and over, my body was in such a dangerous place. However, I fought back with my silent loving breath over and over and over again. Hum!! It wasn’t an easy battle.

This is not that unusual, but sometime it gets to the point that I just don’t want to understand it anymore, and I ask myself why why why why why??

Then, I grabbed my backpack and went to practice yoga and dance (couldn’t win this battle will the metal ability). After physical exercise, my energy was back to normal, alert, enthusiastic, lot of energy, and happy Great!! I will sing songs now….

This Wednesday has been one of the freaky experiences in my life. I had some form of sickness symptoms which at first, I thought I was sick, but intuitively I didn’t agree with it. They were the reaction of something else.

In the day time, I felt an incredible heat rose up to the surface from the deep source within. I sweated and felt extremely hot. I sweated so much while I was on the phone with Arthur and was talking about our journey together. I also asked my fiancé if he decided to change the temperature in the house, but he didn’t do any of that. This heat wave within was last forever which at a time it’s concerned me.

On top of that, I couldn’t really practice my vocal awareness since I felt the soar in my throat. I separated all the rituals and practiced them at the different time instead of all at once. The weird part was this. For the last ritual, I have been practicing a story to perform to the group. But then on the phone with Arthur, he told me to practice my first vocal awareness performance again, so I decided to practice both today. First, I practiced the story for the group and my throat started to feel very uncomfortable. It felt dry and a bit pain. Then, I thought it would not be good to keep practicing but I continued my practice with my first performance anyway. This time my throat felt absolutely fine. Crap!! Something unusual was happening to me. Well, to make sure that this was something extraordinary, so, I decided to practice the story for the group again. And as what I expected, my throat felt very unhappy.

After I finished my practice I could sense the fear within, but then my intuition guided me that what I felt was the release of my heavy pain-bodies. This particular pain- body had the power over me for so many years, but not anymore. This time, I am serious and my energy is very serious. So, things have shift inside of me which is such an alien feeling!!! I didn’t feel comfortable to have to understand the meaning of all of these while I was home alone. Then, I called my friend to share this experience, so I could ease my inner anxiety. He said that he couldn’t agree more!! He said to me to enjoy and say “thanks “to the experience. Also, we both agree on one thing that I had to not identify myself with any of these.

At night, I started to feel very chill, so I put a blanket (fold twice for more thickness) all over me. My feet and my hands were both freezing. I heard the voice in me again said “this is freaky!!!”