She told me my aunt died

I have been worrying about calling my mother for about two days. I wonder why? I just miss her more than ever which it is not normal. I was born in the family that raises us very independence, so we do not have a very close relationship amount each other. This type of family is not quite common in Thai cultures.

When my mom answered the phone, I asked her the usual question �How are you mom? And how is everyone? The fist thing she told me was my aunt died the night before I�m calling. Then I knew right away why I felt something like that about the calling.

I was not surprise with the news, but still� I was freeze on my chair with sadness. The reason I am not surprise because my aunt had cancer for about 2-3 years, and I met her about 2 month ago when I was in Thailand. I remembered listen to her story and able to felt the pains that she carried when she shared it with me (with the smile). I knew right away she will die sooner than everyone wants it, and she also knew. She wanted to die even sooner to finish her pains. All I could do at a time was being a good listener which I wished I could do more, so I decided to do something. The day before I left my home town to go back to Bangkok I was able to gather as many of my relatives as possible to go to the dinner together (for her). We had fun talking asking questions, and joking around among the four generations.I will miss her very much.

I'm sitting on the chair closing my eyes and open the senses of remembering, remember the circle of life and the beauty of being.